When I was 14 years old at middle school we were forced to play the flute. In Mexico for some reason we are all forced to play the flute. Apparently, our music professor thought it was a great idea that I played the flute in front of my other classmates. I remember perfectly he made me stand up and as I tried to start playing my hands began to shake, the melody came out something like "fliii fluuu flllaaa" and everyone burst out with laughter.
Yup, that was me!
I was never good at public speaking, acting or singing in front of people even though I would be like Lady Gaga or Obama at the privacy of my own bathroom. I was actually great at performing and I enjoyed it (so did my toothbrushes). Even my grandma always said I should have been an actress. However, with time, I always thought I did better behind the stage. I did all the planning, content, and let someone else show off. I was happy. I never felt like I needed recognition or the applause.
Last year in June this changed. As part of my work, I attended a one week seminar in Germany where we received professional training on public speaking from one of the best agencies in the Netherlands. We were in Gummersbach, a small town near Colone surrounded by green mountains. They divided us in small groups and our facilitator spent half a day with us. She used to work with people in jail encouraging them indirectly to pursue their dreams. I had never met her before and as soon as she made me speak within our small group, she read me and knew exactly the type of human I was.
The task was actually pretty easy. We were asked to select an abstract of our favourite song, speech or book. I selected Obama´s Farewell speech which I really liked. She made me read that 500 character abstract like 10 times. In our small group there was a woman from Chile, another from Pakistan, a man from Lebanon and another one from Myanmar. I had never seen these people in my life and even so, I was nervous.
The first time I read aloud, my hands were shaking, the paper obviously trembling and I felt my eyes filling with nervous tears. I managed to finish reading. Then, she made me do it again and again. By the third time, I realised the more I concentrated on the meaning of what I was saying, the more my anxiousness disappeared. By the fourth and fifth time I started feeling comfortable with my own voice and how when forced to make eye contact, I unconsciously selected phrases from the speech that to me described the people listening to me. I was creating magic!
I received an applause from my small group. An honest recognition. I started crying. There was silence. In my head I could hear the words of so many members of my family and therapists saying "you need to raise your voice, with that low sad voice no one will ever listen to you". There I was, in Germany, with my own voice and 5 people who I had never seen before from countries so far away from mine, but who where actually listening to what I had to say.
Silence is a magical thing. Sometimes I am pretty sure others can hear our thoughts. I remember the woman from Pakistan told me "I really like your voice. It is very soothing and I feel secured and at ease". That workshop changed my life. I flew back to Mexico and since then I have been non stop moderating events and giving interviews, yes with my low sad voice!
So, what has helped me to fight my fear of public speaking and enhance it?
1. Write, write, write
If you are giving an introduction, write down your speech. Make it at least 16 points and one page long. Also, write having your audience in mind. You have to earn them with a good introduction. Having an audience in mind can help you to look for a good phrase you like that inspires others towards the topic and gets everyone's attention. Also, consider using a video to create impact and break the ice or take some attention off of you.
2. Test, test, test
This has become one of my favourites! 95% of your performance comes from rehearsing. I am not a fan of memorising a whole speech but the key ideas and points, definitely! This will allow you to follow up on the speech.
Try rehearsing in front of a mirror to notice your body language and maybe record yourself to check your mistakes. Sometimes many of us tend to say uhm, like, heeem, so, and all these words, so better record yourself to also be conscious of what you are saying.
A wonderful book I fully recommend to get help and tips on public speaking is Ted Talks: The Official Guide to Public Speaking
3. Visualize
According to some studies, visualisation works as well as rehearsal to get results. Picture yourself successful, imagine that the audience laughs with you, that you can inspire them and you will. The first step is to always believe in yourself.
4. Controlling Panic Attacks?
First, make sure you have eaten properly that day, fruits and carbs are great healthy options to have enough energy. What I do whenever I feel a panic attack is coming or that I am going to be sick is BREATHE 3 times very slowly, exhale and think logically.
Tell yourself "I ate healthy food today, I have energy. This is anxiety, and nerves, and that is ok". Remember it is not about controlling, but recognising and accepting how you are feeling.
Nerves are good, they mean you feel responsible and you want to impress and do a good job.
Look at your notes and smile, even if you feel like running away, SMILE. Do not say "oh I am so nervous", "oh sorry, I just lost myself". Just smile. Do not be mean to yourself.
My tip here is to always ask for a podium (first and third picture). I always do it, or get one of those Madonna style microphones where I can freely move my hands (second picture). Anyway, podiums are great because you can hide a little behind them and put your notes to not get lost.
A note on notes! Make sure your notes are on small cards and not a huge paper because if your hands start to shake it will look less trembly with the cards.
5. It is all about them!
No surprise, but when you start thinking more on the audience and why they invested their most precious time to give it to you, instead of feeling anxious, reward them and remind them that you appreciate their time. Think of the audience as one person alone.
I am amazed how travelling makes me feel more comfortable with myself. Public speaking is an art and as with life, one learns by doing. You can watch thousands of YouTube tutorials, read books or take online courses but the only thing that will allow you to be better is to seize every single opportunity, specially when travelling.
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